Untitled

by Takku ?
Entry 2005 Fireside Stories

I was hanging there, lifeless...in my bedroom. It was nighttime, about 9pm to be more precise. And the day that had passed was full of dissapointment and missed opportunities. The day was full of sadness. I could not escape it unless I had done what I intended to do that night - hang myself. I knew that I would only miss one thing in life - the relief that thoughts of suicide brought with them.

Anyway...I had done it...I had destroyed myself. A strange feeling came after the sound of my neck breaking. I felt alive, like I was in my body. I could think. But I just couldn't move. I wanted to feel my dead body...but I couldn't. I didn't want this! I expected to rise up out of my body, not be trapped in it. I felt more trapped than I ever had done in life.

Then came the knock on my door, then came the concerned voices, then came the tormented and horrified faces. My removal from the house was traumatic, to say the least. I wanted to say 'I'm alive.' But I couldn't. I was a living spirit in a dead body.

Soon came the funeral. I could see the sad faces weeping over me. I wanted to reach out and touch them...but I couldn't. I felt so desperate...I was more alone than ever before. When my coffin was finally sealed, I knew that I'd be stuck here forever.

In time, my flesh rotted away, I didn't. Then my bones turned to dust, I didn't. I wanted to go back to my old life and tell everyone that suicide wasn't an escape or a release. It was a trap. But I couldn't...I was just a spirit in a coffin six feet undergound. My thoughts grew dry. The graveyard I was in was filling up. And I could hear the screams of other people who had died like me. They were screaming for freedom. I used to scream, but I don't now. No-one listened. Now I just cry.